He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
