dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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