Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
