What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
