we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
