im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
