I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
two words...techno handjob
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
