she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
