I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
