If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
