Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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