i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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