Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
