meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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