well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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