If you die in college, do you die in real life?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
