Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
