Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
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Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.