i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
