The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.