My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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