Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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