Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They have beer where we have blood.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
