Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
worst night to have a conscience
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
