Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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