According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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