If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
