can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
