operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
