you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
