This is not my ceiling
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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