I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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