thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize