At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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