remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
