just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
