I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
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i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
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By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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