So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
