I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
