Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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