we made out on top of his cat.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
