what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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