Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
