I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
