they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
