Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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