Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
