dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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