He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
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True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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