I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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