I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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