Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
