apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
