i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
