Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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