So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize