I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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