Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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