that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
