You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
