I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
