Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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