Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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