My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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