you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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