im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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